There are a few things no one wants to bring into the bedroom, and erectile dysfunction is one of them. So when your erection is less than rock-hard, it’s easy to try to make excuses for the problem.
Maybe you’re stressed. Too tired. Working too hard. You have a headache.
The reasons go on and on, but at some point, you need to get honest with yourself and your partner. You have an issue, and you need to get help, or you may struggle to obtain an erection for life.
The consequences of ED go beyond the physical. Chances are, your partner is assuming it’s their fault that you can’t get hard — they’re not attractive enough, they’re doing something wrong, or you’re interested in someone else. This miscommunication drives a wedge between the two of you more than the lack of an erection itself could do.
It’s time to get real with your condition and figure out why your penis isn’t cooperating with your sex life.
Is it Your Relationship?
As the old proverb goes, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” It’s a quick way to say that when you’re with someone long enough to get to know them well, you lose respect for them. This extends to the bedroom, where you’ve become so familiar with your partner that they no longer excite you.
It’s a harsh reality to face, but it could be what’s causing your ED. Yet, you don’t want to admit this because it could hurt the other person’s feelings. It’s a vicious circle: You don’t want to tell them they don’t excite you and disappoint them, but by pretending nothing is wrong, they’re already internalizing it as their fault.
Psychology Impacts Physiology
The reality is that mindset matters to your body’s performance. When your mind isn’t interested in performing, your body is less likely to do the job.
Your mindset has a direct impact on your actions and behavior. It’s why when we’re stressed or anxious, we toss and turn instead of sleeping, or we can’t focus on a task. In fact, ED is a common side effect of chronic stress and anxiety.
When you’re not paying full attention to the task at hand, your brain’s automatic processes kick in. You’ve experienced this when you’re behind the wheel and somehow end up home without remembering how you got there.
You can rely on muscle memory to keep your sex life going for a long time, even after losing the excitement. But eventually, your body doesn’t cooperate. You need different stimuli to get those muscles engaged. And the only way for that to happen outside of an affair is to be honest with your partner.
Say It With a Plan
The difference between complaining and discussing a problem is the goal. If you tell your partner that they no longer turn you on but you have no solution to suggest, you’re going to cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
The key to a successful discussion is to have a potential solution. How can you spice up your bedroom life and bring enough excitement into it without stepping on your partner’s boundaries?
Start by planning what you’ll say. Explain that you love them and don’t want them to take your ED personally but that you both might benefit from a little extra help with your sex life. Talk to them about things like sex toys, and if they’re willing, consider other avenues, including medication.
There are many natural and pharmaceutical options on the market as ED aids. Talk to your doctor if you want a prescription, or look into no-prescription-necessary meds like Kamagra (available at reputable retailers such as Auskamagra.com).
No matter what path you choose, the fact that you’re honest and sensitive with your partner moves you closer to a solution. They may have hurt feelings for a little while. If you talk to them carefully, they’ll understand that it’s a common part of a long, monogamous relationship together, and they’ll want to help you both have a satisfying sex life.